Let me be your hero.....

Hours after Britney Spears announced that she was going on tour with none other than Latin sensation Enrique Iglesias, Enrique reportedly dropped out of the tour.

Obviously this is because Enrique Iglesias is never the supporting act. He IS the WHOLE F'ING SHOW.

I mean, seriously, have you all heard "Escape"?  What about "Rhythm Divine"? And who can forgot about "Bailamos"? 

Britney has to realize that while she was busy getting fat, having babies, and shaving her head, Enrique was getting facial moles removed, banging tennis star Ana Kournikova, and hanging out with the cast of "Jersey Shore". 

I do hope that Enrique reconsiders joining the tour however, because it's definitely a show I wouldn't miss.  Backstage passes a must, and to the person who out-bid me on eBay to get a piece of Enrique's removed cheek mole, screw you.

Here is a video I found that is pretty hilarious.  I never realized how absurd the "Hero" video was. Enjoy.

"Whack" Swan

There has been a lot of rumors circulating recently that a majority of the dancing scenes in the award-winning movie "Black Swan" were actually performed by a stunt double, rather than Natalie Portman herself.

Director Darren Aronofsky has gone on record saying that Portman did 80% of the dancing in the film.

I just don't understand why people are upset that 20% of the dancing wasn't real, when we should all still be pissed that 100% of the cunnilingus wasn't real.

This proves once and for all that Natalie Portman is a big phony.  I have no doubt that in Star Wars: Episode 1, she wasn't REALLY flying around in a royal star cruiser.

You Aint' Sheen Nothin' Yet

I know I have been lazy with the blog for quite a while now, but believe it when I say that I have returned and I'd like to think I'm better than ever.

With that being said, I think It's only fitting that I provide some commentary on one of pop culture's most recent and explosive stories: The Charlie Sheen Saga

Now if you are a fan of my blog, you'll know that I have commented on Sheen and his sitcom in the past. You can view the entry HERE.  It is a negative post about Sheen and his tv show, and while I still do not care for the show, my views on Sheen have forever been changed....


Charlie Sheen had it all. Hit movies, smokin' hot wives, a famous dad, and pee-wee hockey's most famous coach for a brother.  So what if he wants to party for 3 days straight and bang porn stars in elegant hotel suites?  Hasn't he earned it?

Me and Charlie are a lot alike: We both create our own catchphrases, we both have adonis DNA, and we both crave attention.  Sure there's things that Charlie has that I don't, but if you replace a $15 million dollar mansion with my Hoboken apartment, 2 beautiful porn star goddesses for my 2 economy-sized bottles of Jergens, and a briefcase of the finest Colombian cocaine that money can buy with my handle of Banker's Club Vodka, me and Charlie are virtually the same person.

 We should embrace Charlie.  For the past month he has entertained us and has introduced me to several porn stars whose existence I was previously unaware of.  Now for $19.99 a month, I can help send those girls to college, as well as stimulate the economy.

Charlie Sheen doing crazy things is good for everyone, so just sit back, relax and let him Win all over your face, because he IS an F-18, and I also consider him a friend.