Ricky Martin officially came out on his website, when he told fans that he is in fact, a homosexual.
This isn't really a shocker to most, I'm sure. Finding out Ricky Martin is gay is kind of like finding out that there weren't any Weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq: We sort of knew it the whole time, but a lot of us just went along with it.
I'm glad Ricky can finally live his life openly. He accomplished a lot during the height of his career, but his most amazing accomplishment was probably being the man responsible for making William Hung a millionaire. To relive this moment, watch below:
Happy Birthday to Mark "The Undertaker" Calloway. He turns 48 today. He is without a doubt one of my favorite wrestlers of all time, but he will REST IN PEACE come sunday when he takes on The Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels at Wrestlemania 26.
I would love to show a tribute to the Undertaker, but I'm gonna go ahead and show you something much more entertaining: A tribute to one of the greatest managers of all-time: PAUL BEARER. Enjoy
In a few hours, I will be departing for Florida for a week. My Oceanic Flight leaves mad early. I will be sure to post some stuff from my blackberry throughout my trip. But because of air travel uncertainty these days, I will take this time to say goodbye, just in case. Thanks for reading. If I do not land in Miami, trust that I have landed on an island with a fugitive, a con-man, a fat millionaire, a Korean couple, and a pregnant woman among others. Speaking of Others, I'm sure that island will have them too. If I ever make it back home after spending time there, I may want to write a TV show about it..
So I'm moving to Hoboken in a few weeks, and getting a gym membership no longer fits into my budget. I've been browsing through some home-workout products that are sure to give me more definiton than a Webster's Dictionary. These are what I've been considering:
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1.) The Shake Weight. To see my thoughts on this product, click here -->http://www.themikenovak.com/2010/02/whats-shakin.html
2.) The iGallop
The iGallop is great. Since there's not a ranch in Hoboken, I can get the much needed horseback riding workouts that I need. Like the informercial said: Horseback riding is one of the best forms of excrcise. Probably only second to, oh i dont know, actually walking yourself! That's like telling me that that taking a cab ride is great excerise. True, I may strengthen my lungs by holding my breath due to the intense smell of urine in that yellow car, but I won't be buring any calories. Still, the iGallop is sure to entertain any of my guests and will definitely be the life of the party.
I totally agree with you, Emerson. Pluto was a fully functioning planet. It had its own orbit, and a Disney character was named after it. Now that poor dog has to look himself in the mirror every day and realize that his name now means "random floating rock in space".
"A producer of the Academy Award-winning documentary The Cove helped set up a sting at a hip sushi restaurant in Santa Monica, Calif. The restaurant and the chef have been charged with serving illegal and endangered whale meat."
I heard the owner of the restaurant also has a part time job as Shamu's trainer at SeaWorld. Well, HAD a job. Karma's a bitch, you whale-eating bastards.
If you've been reading my blog for a while, you may think I'm all jokes, but I also like to consider myself as a philosopher. In this edition of my blog, I'll share with you one of my most favorite theories on life...
I present to you, THE UMBRELLA EFFECT
Now let me give you some background info on this theory... The year is 2006. I'm a sophomore at the University of Delaware. I am loving life during this time. However, there is one thing that I am not loving. A certain song on the radio, to be exact. The song I'm referring to of course, is Rihanna's "Umbrella". I could not stand this song. It really irritated me, and I would get furious when I heard it. Fast forward 3 years to the present day, and I FUCKING LOVE THAT SONG. Why, you ask? Simple. No matter how horrible the song was to me then, hearing it brings me back to the great times of college. When "Umbrella" plays on the radio now, you can bet your ass that somewhere in NJ I'm driving with my window down, rocking out to it.
So the "Umbrella Theory" is simple. It's currently loving something from the past that you didn't love just because it's associated with a better time in your life. The "Umbrella Effect" can be in the form of a song, food, or even a person (like an ex). Now, I'm curious to what my Umbrella will be from this time period, seeing how the most excited thing I've done lately is eat a ham sandwich. Everyone has Umbrellas in their life..what's yours?
And now, for your viewing pleasure....UMBRELLA by Rihanna
Happy 70th Birthday to Chuck Norris: Martial Arts Legend and all-around badass. It's hard to believe that Walker Texas Ranger is turning 70, seeing how fit he is and also since I heard that CHUCK NORRIS ATE THE WHALE THAT ATE THE TRAINER AT SEAWORLD. To celebrate the life of this truly awesome individual, here are some great Chuck Norris lines. Feel free to comment and write your favorites.
-Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
--Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
-The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
-Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
-The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.
- Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
This is a brand new segment where I'll be listing things that I want to do before I kick the bucket. This ain't Morgan Freeman's and Jack Nicholson's bucket list, that's for sure! First up, ELASTIC WAIST DENIM PANTS!
That's right. I used to have these when i was like 7, and I'd want to experience them again before I die. So much easier than having to button and wear a belt. Look how great those pants look in the picture above. They just fall right on top of those loafers. These are a must-have for any closet. Not only do I want to wear these before I die, I'd prefer to be wearing them during my death and also be buried in them. Everyone in hell would be so envious of my elastic pants.
Police say a 37-year-old woman crashed her 1995 Ford Thunderbird into another car as she attempted to shave her bikini area. -AP
Animals have causing all kinds of trouble lately. First a killer whale eats its trainer, a groundhog extends winter, and now a hairy beaver causes a car accident. What is wrong with the animal kingdom?
Well, it's that time of year again. Time to loosen up your belt another notch because you're about to gain a solid 5-10 lbs. Do the words "Thin Mints" mean anything to you? Or maybe you're like me, and the "Samoa" is more your style. I just don't understand how after all these years, even with Keebler Elves working day and night, the people who make the best cookies in the country are a bunch of pre-pubescent girls.
How have they maintained the rights to these cookies all this time? Why do I have to wait till March to get a friggin' Samoa. Then it dawned on me. The Girl Scouts and Boy Scouts are selfish hoarders of secrets. That's right. I said it. These girls should spread the joy of these cookies with the world by selling the recipes to Nabisco. The money I give you just funds the creation of more cookies anyway. It never ends. It's a viscious cycle that won't stop...Until we stop it.
Now on to you, Boy Scouts. Why is it that you are the only people in the United States that knows how to start a fire. If i was stuck in the wilderness I'd be screwed, because if you've ever tried to rub two sticks together in order to get a spark, you'd have a better chance of starting a fire underwater. Reveal your fire-making secrets to the rest of the world, because when I get accepted to be on "Survivor", I don't want to be useless to the tribe.
If you love Irish twins with pompadours, washed-up 90's white rappers and mixing 2 songs that have nothing to do with eachother besides a common beat, you'll love this video.
Hey Cablevision subscribers, have fun watching LOST and Regis and Kelly online from now on...I'll be able to watch the View every morning because I don't fuck with Cablevison.
Alexander Graham Bell would have been 163 years old today. Al, if it wasn't for your invention, I wouldn't be the greatest drunk texter east of the Mississippi. Oh yeah, and thanks for this:
If it wasn't for phones like these, how would Derek Morris have become the hot shot computer salesman that he was?
So it turns out that Jermaine Jackson's 13 yr old son purchased a stun gun, that was allegedly intended to stun Michael Jackson's son, Blanket. Blanket has had one hell of a life, let me tell you. First, he's hung over a balcony by his father, has his face covered 24/7, and now we find out he was living with a bunch of sadistic maniacs who shocked him with 2000 volts daily.
This whole story has me thinking though, if "Blanket" was born in 2009, do you think he'd be named "Snuggie"?
If you've never seen these, here's 2 videos of some stud in a royal blue snuggie.
Happy Birthday to Mark-Paul Gosselaar, who turns 36 today. Mark is best known for his portrayal of a lawyer in TNT's original series, "Raising The Bar".
OK, that's absolutely false, because during the 90's Mark played Bayside High's most popular student, Zack Morris. Zack Morris was everyone's favorite role model growing up. Lets look at the facts. Zack had a cell phone the size of an average man's New Balance sneaker. He scored a 1502 on his SATs and is easily Stansbury material (sorry Jesse). He was the lead singer of the Grammy-nominated band "Zack Attack". He was the star of the glee club and was able to come up with a really kick-ass school song. He could date the captain of the Cheerleading team one minute and then the next be dating a leather-jacket wearing motorcycle chick. He could put together a surprise birthday party in under 30 seconds and in the Principal's office, nonetheless. He could get the cheapest class rings around, and when he gets scammed, he makes Gem Diamond crap his pants and give Bayside the highest quality rings. He can hook up with his boss's daughter Stacey, become a volleyball star and can also ride an ATV. He knows that there's "No Hope With Dope", and reveals Johnny Dakota as the lowlife he really is. He can dance with another girl to "A-12" in the Max to show Kelly that Jeff will never compare to Zack Morris.
I can go on forever, but I think you all get the point. Who knows where we'd be if not for Mark-Paul Gosselaar. When I'm faced with a tough decision, I always ask myself WWZMD: What Would Zack Morris Do? (Most of the time, this results in me attempting to perform a "Time Out", but it has yet to work)
